If you’ve made it to the Quarter, you have seen us. We’re the folks who weave around you, moving quickly and usually with our head down (or at least not swiveling from side to side, and usually looking off into the middle distance) and keys or bags in hand. We’ll keep an eye out for anyone who looks confused and offer help (usually turned down by nervous tourists who assume I guess that we must be about to shake them down) but don’t try to slow us down without cause; we’ll growl or may even bite…
We live here.

Balcony versus couryards
You would probably think that it is better to have a balcony than a courtyard, but for the most part, its the other way around. Balconies mean noise travels to your rooms constantly and although it is fun to be viewed when you want to be viewed, it is not fun to be viewed when you just woke up and are just trying to have your coffee in the sunlight.
Also, it is likely that you’ll have short-term neighbors on a balcony next to or across from you who believe that it is necessary to WHOO-HOO throughout the night or to buy cases of beads to throw down at people. Between my mother and I, we have lived in slightly less than a score of places in the last 35 years in the Quarter, and only two or three times have either of us had a balcony apartment. Balcony apartments are also more expensive and mean stairs to climb, often rickety stairs! However, the best of both worlds is a balcony overlooking a courtyard, as long as the neighbors don’t congregate below late at night. That way, you get air flow and no one above you keeping time to music at 3 a.m.
Noise
This leads to a strange irony in the Quarter; most of your regular neighbors are super quiet and you never see them. If you drink to excess, you have a bar to do that near you. If you like to dance or sing, again places near have that. Most of us live in tiny spaces (a result of 18th century buildings cut up in the 19th century into tiny places for immigrants and po folk) and are fine with it, but it does cut back on home visiting. And after all, “let’s just meet at (enter name of new or fun place to eat or drink)” is appealing to just about everyone who visits you.

Vehicles
Traveling in or out of the Quarter during Mardi Gras is tricky and needs some planning. Well, it’s simple really: you need to get rid of your motor vehicle or pay a princely sum to put it in a garage. That’s right, no parking in 2/3 of the Quarter on the last weekend (and parade days before that) and restricted driving. I use a scooter and have it parked against the building (as required, leaving a 3 ft walkway) at the side of the public building next to mine. The workers know me and can alert me if anything happens to it. During Carnival though, it’s best to move it, as I live on one of the well-traveled spots whoo-hooing spots. So, I park it next to the little Red Schoolhouse (a elementary-level school, our last school in the Quarter, where Elvis’ movie King Creole filmed their high school scenes) and hope that no one messes with it. Don’t mess with it.

Food
There are really 2 ways to go here at all times, but especially during Carnival: either plan ahead and stock up on food or have the delivery menus ready; restaurants are mostly no-go as the lines pile up for hours before and after parades. Dozens of places offer take out and almost all of them can deliver too. Most of us are partial to the Nelly Deli (Bourbon), Verti Marte (Royal), Deja Vu (Dauphine), Mona Lisa (Royal), Matassa’s (Dauphine), Chinese food (two on Canal) or pick up at Wink’s (Decatur), Fiorella’s (Decatur), Petit Amelie (Royal), Bennachin (Royal) are some of the usual places we hit.
This year, I am also adding a new tradition of Lundi Gras brunch at Meauxbar. My pal Kristen Essig is their brilliant and capable chef and has put together a fantastic menu. Let’s hope it’s not a zoo.

Drink
Only one way to go during Mardi Gras: have your house stocked beforehand. I use my favorite liquor store in the Quarter at Vieux Carre Wine and Spirits; fantastic place with an amazing selection and. they. deliver.

Music
I feel lucky that I get to live in a place where New Orleanians of every talent (legal and illegal) can try to make a living. Chief among those legal talents are the musicians who populate every block during Carnival. I do find it deflating to see how many young transient white kids with barely the ability to pick a banjo have taken up so many spots. Still, some are these are good and good local musicians can be found on certain corners. The stories about our street musicians would astound most people, from those who lived in a van parked on the street and raised kids in that van for years and years, making a living and sending those kids onward to good lives from it, or others that have been out there daily for years, rain or shine, heat or cold and now have become the gentry (“eyes on the street”) of that block.

However, when a man who thinks he has the ability to sing “doo-wop” (but does not) sets up across from your doorway regularly or someone who only knows 2 or 3 songs and sings them again and again next to your door, you can grow cynical and be seen in your pjs at midnight shouting at those poor misguided souls. For me, it takes going out in the evening with a cocktail in hand and finding one of the good ones and listening and watching the crowd take extreme pleasure in coming across this or these musicians to renew my love of live street music.

Hustle
I am working on a new project that will detail how we get by here with “a job, a gig and a hustle.” People are sharing their stories with me and I am working on adding essays about the sharing economy and illegal economies to it as well. Stay tuned for news on that…So when I say hustle, I mean that thing some of us have to do to make the ends try to meet; it may be an illegal hustle or an informal hustle, but it is visible across the Quarter most days and certainly during MG. It includes someone standing in line on behalf of the Uptown dining crowd at Galatoires, or selling second line parasols right off Bourbon on the hood of a truck (you know its a hustle when no signs announce things are for sale; you need to ask so that the vendor can be sure you are not trying to bust her), or even driving a pedi-cab, which, by the way, is a good idea to take for those of you out way late and trying to cross the Quarter.
It’s amazing to me how many hustles I see in a block or two, and how much I admire the willingness of people here to try it and for all of us to support it.
Still, some of the hustles are dangerous, and so be alert and know that if locals see something bad about to go down, we’ll help if we can and alert law enforcement too (found this weekend every 3-4 blocks of the main drags). Be extra careful and don’t be stupid is the best advice I can give you. Walk into a hotel lobby or into a bar to look at your smart phone and leave the purses and wallets tucked away in your room or in the safe. Stay with crowds and expect that villains are afoot. And don’t throw trash or pee or puke on our steps or doorways please.
All in all, I am glad to be here even at the foulest and loudest time of year. I appreciate the joy and wonder I see as our visitors can’t believe their luck to be here on a sunny and warm February acting out their inner child as part of our public spectacle.
Welcome. Now get out of my way.

Some of my pals visiting me on Fat Tuesday during an earlier French Quarter life of mine..