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Grand Duchess speaks for the trees

I was hurrying the other day on my way to pick up Thai food, and I felt something was…off as I passed St. Mary’s. Few people now know it as St. Mary’s but it’s the church attached to the “oldest building in the city” In other words, the church attached to the Ursuline Convent.
I looked up and noticed no rubber tree.
This rubber tree had been incredible. It had hung over the sidewalk, offering a bit of shade to sweaty tourists and greenery to sidewalk kings and queens for many years. Clearly, the cold air from last winter had done the tree in.
After picking up my food (drunken noodles with shrimp from Sukho Thai on Royal in the Marigny- I recommend), I clambered up the stairs to the Grand Duchess and her light-filled, warm rooms to ask her opinion on trees and to see if I could capture an idea or two about what to do. She made me at home and personally fixed me a rum and satsuma juice with grenadine and fresh lime juice. She always remembers the seasonal drink I choose although she added the grenadine. I like it better.

Can you tell me your thoughts on how we can re-tree the Vieux Carre to make it more shady or livable?
We prefer to think of the presence of trees as their own reward.
(I put my drink down carefully and focused my words.)

Pardon me, Duchess. Will you share some ideas as to how we can encourage tree planting?
We believe that the staff on Loyola Avenue should decree Dec and Jan as Tree Planting Months. Encourage it, offer tips on how and what to plant. Allow any fruit bearing tree or small root tree to be planted in dirt already existing on the edge of the sidewalk, or in the (aside to me with a wink) 1980s garbage inserts that you cleverly wrote about. (author’s note: I had written about the old cans built into the sidewalks that had a short life but still could be seen along some sidewalks in the Quarter. Somehow, she had read or been told about my piece.)
It would also be beneficial to add trees to balconies. These would be small trees in pots that birds would use to rest in and bring their songs to the mornings.
We would also encourage our people to add larger trees to their courtyards wherever possible, remembering the fig trees and orange trees and persimmon trees among many others that could be found throughout the village in the near past. We would also ask the staff on Loyola to offer a small metal bench (1.5 feet long, no more) for any area planted with 2 or more shade trees. The bench would be embedded in the concrete and encourage sitting by passersby or for the store owners who enjoy gazing despairingly at non-shoppers on their streets.
Certainly encouraging people to add trees is wonderful, but why should they go to the trouble?
We believe that trees have their own reasons for existing, but also exhort the citizenry to remember the satisfaction of plucking a plum on one’s way to the Cathedral, or to think of the delight that comes with knowing that full shade lies just ahead on one of our sultry summer days that will come.
Furthermore, we are an agricultural people and we believe that our village should represent the best of every part of what our region has to offer. Think of having a satsuma on Saint Ann or a pecan on Barracks. What is more appropriate for the old city?
It is true that many fruit trees leave debris that can be distasteful to those with the most gossamer of sensibilities, but for those without the passion for picking, ask your nearest restaurant if they would like the choicest fruit. When you find that intelligent chef, simply allow his most industrious staff person in to pick and find your favorite dessert made with your offering waiting for you when you go in to dine. Or toss the key down to the pie lady and offer her the prize. If no one takes your offer, have a party at harvest season and watch the fruit disappear along with your liquor!

She then walked with me down to her courtyard. She pointed out her favorites with her cane as she called some of their Latin and some by their New Orleans or everyday names: her beautiful Fortunella japonica, Citrus reticulata (she had been the one to introduce me to this favorite of mine actually), her Eribotrya japonica, (almost 20 feet high), her Fiddle-Leaf Figs, her bananas (edible and tasty I can vouch for that), her old Ficus elastica (she murmured it was related to the St. Mary tree knowing it would comfort my loss), pomegranate shrubs, and her Sago Palm and various others palms that I only barely recognized, all as gnarled as her cane. With the lights strung between, and with her climbing roses, larkspur, butterfly weed, bougainvillea, narcisissus, butterfly lilies, camelias (like few people had seen in generations), jessamine, red hibiscus, four-o-clocks in every color, it bloomed year-round and smelled–
well it smelled of New Orleans, really.

Ursuline Convent rubber tree circa 2009

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Murder on Canal Street

Recently, there was a murder on Dauphine and Canal that is one of those moments teetering between high emotion and civic anger. A bartender from Pat O’Brien’s was killed while confronting someone who had hit a car with their fist or hand or something as they crossed in front of it. He got out of the car and things seem to escalate from there.
The tragedies here are numerous.
Not only is the bartender dead and murderers being hunted, there are those who saw this happen, those who knew the people involved, those who live near there or work near there, those who have loved ones who leave that night job to travel home and so on.
There are many tragedies because no man is an island.
And when crime happens, the bad part of “no man being an island” occurs to us. That we come in contact with dozens or hundreds of people a day and some maybe closer to the edge that we know. That so much of it is truly random. And we never know when it is our time or when that time is thrust upon us by someone who has hate or boiling anger at the ready.
There is much talk about why was this guy around there at that time of night. Those who ask why he got out of the car. Why the person or persons who did this got away so easily. Or how does someone hitting an automobile escalate into a life ending. There will be accusations thrown at French Quarter police or City Council or someone else. And there will be people who point out that another senseless crime just happened in the French Quarter. And there will be general talk of the people who hang out on Canal” or of “kids” or “groups of kids” or whatever shorthand is used. But truly, as many of us have come to know personally, tragedy is often without a purpose or a clear line of reasoning to explain the moment in reflection.
Crime happens where there are too many people, not enough people, family members only, one bored person, groups of evil people-really just about any combination. It happens in lovely suburbs, city corners, million dollar homes and trailers. And it happens to kids and adults of every ethnicity.
It does not just happen to white people in the French Quarter. And it does not happen only at the hands of young African-Americans, far from it. Don’t fill that well.
People become unhinged from being a victim and in turn prey on others. People grow up with every chance and throw them all away from mental unbalance. Or a moment just becomes uncontrollable. It happens everywhere where anger or apathy live. Which, sadly is a lot of places.
So the best way to repel crime is to watch for anger or apathy. Be vigilant for signs of them and do your best to gently steer the situation away those. If a situation is already too far gone, than step away and call authorities. If you recognize apathy or anger in yourself, then you might be able to spot it correctly in others. There are so many people in the world now, we need to look at each other in every instance and take stock. Be wary when in times and places that high levels of unbalance might be lurking. Be courteous and give way when you can, when it does not cost you safety. Move carefully through a world that is teetering on the brink of something.
And stop blaming any one group for all the world’s ills.

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Overheard in French Quarter

(man and wife crossing street illegally in front of line of traffic) “Hey, I always have the right of way!”

(man and wife with ignored map in hand) “I’m sure we’ll just run into it”

“I don’t mind runnin’ ragged for 3 hours if I’m only workin 5 hour shifts”

(loud person on phone) “I’m down here scouting locations for a movie, so I got time…”

“If you want rock, you got to be prepared to take off your clothes.”

“I don’t understand the psychology of sleeveless shirts.”

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Deal of the Day on Groupon

If you are not familiar with Groupon, I encourage you to sign up to receive the deal of the day email. Based on a group of people accepting the deal, you can get up to 75% off very good products and services. It’s a great way to find out about things going on around town, like this groupon today.
$15 for Two Tickets to the Louisiana State Museum’s Winter Art & Antiques Show. Choose from Two Dates.

Most people have no idea there is an antiques show in the French Quarter. Just when everyone thinks you can only get great deals on daquiris and sunglasses, this news comes along just in time.

check out:
http://www.winterartandantiques.com

and the Groupon site itself:
http://www.groupon.com/new-orleans/

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Grand Duchess talks about graffiti

Tags on historic buildings are often quite shocking. The effort that is takes to rid some of it is expensive or even damaging to the surface, especially when lunatic fringe vigilantes take it upon themselves to spray industrial strength paint across the tag, often larger or messier than the original work. Of course, the difference between tags and graffiti should be understood, although I understand to some it is one and the same.  Tagging does seem to be an issue once again in the French Quarter, and since I have been so successful lately in getting good quotes from the Grand Duchess of the Vieux Carre, I called on her again, with felt pen in hand this time.

Here are her surprising thoughts:

What is your take on the war against graffiti in the village?
We are against war.

Do you mean you AGREE with graffiti?
We do not agree with any idea every time.

Do you like graffiti?
We appreciate artistic expression, activist tendencies and personal responsibility.

Hmmm. (I pretended I understood, but realized this was a never-ending tangle. I decided to take another tack):
Have you seen “informal artistic activity” that you appreciated?
We will assume you are referring to the practice of painting an expression on a building that one does not currently hold title. We have.

Have you seen informal artistic activity that you disliked?
We have.

Do you have any decrees that would answer this quandary?
We believe that half of available advertising space (excluding our village’s stores and their signage) should be designated instead for informal expression. The Staff may ask that it is limited to what does not incite violence or frighten children beyond a reasonable amount expected in this harsh world. We would suggest they ask artists to do their best to illuminate the public conversation, and not demean it.
Any artist who is then caught using a non-designated area to express their view should expect to be treated as outcasts by the village’s citizens and be asked to provide a number of hours for non-artistic community service to clean up after these offenders.

Duchess, may I say this is a surprising and probably polarizing view-point. May I ask how you arrived at this viewpoint?
We explain thusly:We have many friends in many different careers. Some are archaeologists, some are historians, some are tradesmen. The tradesman we use for stonework recently explained to us that work on the Giza Plateau in far off Egypt recently uncovered the graffiti of the original work gangs scrawled across the upper most chambers, (chambers that were never meant to be entered, which may have only been included to relieve the tremendous weight upon the main chamber). This graffiti has been able to answer some of the most important questions our modern world has of its predecessors in the desert. These work gangs’ tags allowed the world to understand the craftsmen who were not slaves at all (contrary to many years of history lessons) and instead were paid workers. Yes, questions remain of the graffiti’s veracity, but we are refreshed by the notion of workmen spelling out their pride. We also understand that many steelworkers and painters and other skilled workers do this, and think is an excellent way to sign one’s work. Additionally, activity that tells of impending clashes can be understood earlier; artists can illuminate an issue in this manner.

Banksy in New Orleans post-Katrina

Banksy in New Orleans post-Katrina

Knowing we had reached the end of the interview, I stood, quietly capped my pen and thanked her for her time. As I opened the door, the Duchess handed me a lovely old book, murmuring that it was for me. When I made it to the street light at her corner, I saw it was a lengthy translation of graffiti found in ancient Pompeii.

I

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Grand Duchess addresses trivial questions

For those who read this little blog from time to time, you will notice that I enjoy introducing you to the great many people who use the French Quarter for business or for a wide selection of diversions or those who call it their home.

One that I met many many years ago is the Grand Duchess of the Vieux Carre. I do not remember when I met her, only that my friend Roger Simonson knew her and had a deep admiration for her. He introduced us (quite formally as I remember now) one summer evening when we went to her building before going to dinner at The Steak Pit down the street. We were charmingly introduced to all of her beautiful cats (we were told that all were named after Roman generals or burlesque dancers) as she led us through her rooms showing us her incredible collection of 1920s erotica which seemed to include some self portraits. I saw her after that from time to time, but had not spoken to her since Roger’s untimely passing. When I returned to the area a decade or more ago, I received a note in the mail at my mother’s welcoming me back home. I have no idea how she knew.
With some questions about how things have been running around the Quarter, I recently tramped up the rickety wooden stairs to the Grand Duchess’ airy rooms to ask about her feelings on festivals in her village (as she is also known to call the Vieux Carre), and was granted the right to publish her “decrees” as she terms them. As it has been a great long time since her public had heard from her, many questions have arisen about her and her official status since the first post.
So, I once again trudged the circular, slightly dusty stairs to see if she felt it was important to attend to the public’s perception of her. She listened carefully to my thoughts on the subject and asked me to return to her door in a fortnight’s time.
After looking up fortnight up on my iPhone, I agreed.
We sat with paper and pen (she allowed me to use a ballpoint even though her views on them are well known) while I fired questions. She often drank from her creme de menthe slowly and gazed out the window with what seemed to be a great deal of interest. It turned out she did that only when she had decided not to answer a particular query. Took me a bit to figure that out, so this short interview took half a day and almost a full bottle.
What is your full title?
We are known as the Grand Duchess of the Vieux Carre. Not the “French Quarter”. We can be called Duchess informally.
What are your responsibilities?
We serve the people of the Vieux Carre as we see fit.
How long have you been Grand Duchess?
(Drinking, window gazing here. )
Will you be offering more guidance in the form of decrees?
What other form is there?
Do you think the French Quarter is managed well by the staff of Loyola Avenue? (DW: “The Staff or paid staff of Loyola Avenue” seems to be what she calls City Hall ) finally deciding after a great deal more drinking and gazing and long silence that she would not answer any question formed with “French Quarter” in the question, I rephrased:
Do you think the village is managed well by the staff of Loyola Avenue?
We do not think “being managed” as you term it (with a impish nod towards me) is in the best interest of my people. We do not worry about (or for) The Staff on Loyola Avenue, although we wish them good health and wisdom.
Will you meet with the Loyola staff?
The only meetings that matter are chance and clandestine ones.
How will they know what to do then?
If they commit to honoring all personal expressions (up until it negatively affects another) they will know what to do. If they employ clear thinking and direct communication with as many of my people as they can stand before making a decision on their behalf (and follow my directives) they will succeed.

As I had clearly been granted a great many answers without too many uncomfortable, lengthy pauses, I thanked her with a nod (or maybe it was even a bit of a bow). With that, I clicked close my ballpoint (earning a slight frown from the Duchess) and left her to the twilight and her many cats.